What a smile....

It was a hot sunny day when I and other KMLA students reluctantly dragged our feet toward school buses to visit Hyun Choongsa, a place to memorialize one of Korea’s greatest generals Lee Sunshin. My dark traditional Korean costume continued to suppress my body that was already suppressed by exorbitant heat, and my brain persistently cursed my school for enforcing us to wear such costume. My physical and mental stress began to burgeon when I realized that the bus I was supposed to take does not turn on an air conditioner. Traveling one hour and a half in an oppressing bus crammed with a bunch of KMLA students, I began to feel a need to express my distress to prevent myself from being tormented by aftermath after suffering such extreme mental stress. Suddenly, I gazed at a plastic water bottle in my right hand. There must have been telepathy between the bottle and me. The plastic water bottle gently shook its content as if it is luring its owner to make use of it. I crumpled the bottle, hoping that deforming its shape can serve as an exit to express my distress. Nevertheless, crumpling did me no good. Then, I looked at my friend sleeping at the back. A brilliant thought swept across my head.

Here is the realization of my brilliant idea. Yes, it is me, tilting my dear plastic water bottle above my friend’s head. I anticipate some degree of repugnance and laughter when you see this photo. Well, a memorable photo does not necessarily have to be visually attractive, does it? In the photo, water is lingering precariously at the fringe of the bottle that I am holding on, but my friend is so deeply immersed in his unconsciousness that he is unable to sense snickering around him and water sloping from side to side right above his nostrils. As you can see, I am about to pour water on my sleeping friend’s face in the photo. To celebrate such an honorable moment, I tried to make a facial expression that would candidly express my sensation. Here is the result: me smiling in naive yet treacherous manner. My another friend who was sitting right behind me gladly took out his expensive Canon camera to record the momentous event, a part of the memory of KMLA life that will later be recounted and put smile on faces of those who will still recollect vicarious pleasure they felt while watching the jocular moment recorded in the photo.

       
       Some readers may wonder why I picked such photo as my most memorable photograph in my life, since my ridiculous face can be a subject of laughter and mockery when others see it. Nevertheless, the photo is special in that it reflects forgotten immature and naive aspect of my ego. No one can maintain naivety throughout his or her life, and I am no exception. It has been only two years since I have become a member of KMLA family, but harsh school life, sense of responsibility, and stress that I have to bear with as a KMLA student have devastated my spryness and have made be a solemn nerdy student. I am not criticizing KMLA, since losing childish naivety also means a process of becoming more mature. However, making changes entails lose of something that was once so valuable and fundamental for me. I sometimes feel depressed and regretful when I realize that I am rapidly relinquishing my original values and ideals to pace up with my circumstances where everything occurs swiftly and those who are slow to adept eventually fall back. Fortunately, God has endowed human beings the ability to ‘remember’. I can still ride my time machine in my head to contemplate and become deeply immersed into my reminiscence to evoke feelings that Taeyoon today can no longer experience. Though recollections are often involuntarily distorted and embellish past memories with ornate cover that exaggerates certain parts of my memory, reminiscence that can put smile on one’s face is certainly an important possession that has a tonic effect. Therefore, the photo above is an important medium for me to relax and evoke the sensation that I have forgone or forgotten. The facial expression that seems to be devoid of present worries, doubts, or resentment is certainly an essential legacy from past Taeyoon that connects me with the past.

     
        The photo also takes its significance as a map that will lead me to the memory of KMLA life when I become too aged to revoke KMLA school life without any clue. When I was a child, I always felt reluctant to stand in front of a camera. I did not like the dark, cold gaze of an inanimate object, and I was afraid of the thought that I might lose my sense of uniqueness after being depicted on a white coating film by a camera. But as I grew up, I began to accumulate so many valuable memories and experience that I failed to recognize their worth at the moment when I was a part of them. However, I realized that without photographs I could not recollect the experience and sensation that I long to remember. No matter how much effort I put in to cling to such precious reminiscence, the flow of time is inexorable and will eventually sweep away what I value from my head. Thus, I felt the strong need to record my daily experience and events that I consider negligible or insignificant in the present but will be regarded as invaluable moments in the future. The photo above is another part of my effort to inscribe details of my daily life. Though I felt resentful about visiting Hyun Choongsa(and I still do feel mild resentment about it), I have no doubt that such experience will become an another essential possession stored in my memory chamber that I will visit again and again. When I visit the chamber, photographs will serve me as a guide to find specific memories that I want when I am no longer able to find the trace of KMLA life among hodgepodge of memories in my head.

       The most important element of a photograph is the messages it implies, not what it depicts. When you look at a photo, try to sense the world it attempts to convey. A photo that looks humorous on the surface may indirectly portray a brutal world, while a photo tainted with a mark of depression may suggest a hint of hope. You can see how deep the implied messages of photographs can be by looking at my two paragraphs of long, serious contemplation derived from the photo that seems ridiculous and meaningless. A photograph is an extremely attractive piece of art that contains unfathomable depth which can be observed only by those who have keen eyesight.